Monday, December 31


Got tagged by Bakawali and Seademon.

1. How has 2007 been for you in a nutshell?
Delicious and exciting

2. Apart from your family members, name one person who has made you happy in 2007.

3. Do you feel you are better off, or worse off, in 2007 than you were in 2006?
Definitely better, especially since I’m way better looking now than in 2006.

4. Where was the best holiday trip for you in 2007?
My best trip would be the two weeks Cambodia/Vietnam backpacking trip. But the most memorable one would be the Pulau Sembilan cruise.

5. Name two positive things that you have achieved in 2007
I look more like McDreamy now, have a sexual appetite that can rival McSteamy, and an innocence that is almost like McVet.

6. Name the best movie you saw in 2007.
This is a tough one. One of the best would be Stardust.

7. Name five friends that you have made in 2007.
Lynn, Khaz, Rahmat, Najib and Avhtar.

8. What New Year’s resolution for 2007 that you have not achieved?
To make my first million by the time I’m 30.

9. What would your New Year’s resolution for 2008 be?
To make the first million by the time I’m 31.

10. Name 3 people you would like to tag.
I’ll pass on this one.

Sunday, December 30

At a glance

It started off pretty slow and lame; I couldn’t even remember where I was on New Year’s Eve. Most probably at home, sleeping, as I did the previous year. January was a breeze, filled with mundane activities and work and basketball. Come to think of it, the first 6 months were like that, with nothing much happening to excite me.

The second half of the year was much better. I managed to squeeze in a few trips in between work, met new and wonderful friends, and finally got over my disappointment of a failed relationship from a year ago. Yes, it has been a long and arduous journey, but every journey is a self-discovery, and I have discovered a lot about myself that I was unaware before.

But mostly, I have learnt that you can be sad and miserable and depressed all your life if you want to, but you can also be happy, cheerful and optimistic about life.

It’s all about the choices you make in life.

And I will always remember this year fondly, as I believe it is a start to something meaningful and precious in my years to come.

Let’s end it in a high.

Saturday, December 29

A hundred

I have been reading blogs for a very long time, and I have always imagined myself writing one. But I wasn't sure at first, because I was afraid that I couldn't commit myself to it. To me, there is no point in having one and only updating it once in 6 months.

But then, a friend (whom I refuse to mention here because I wasn't mention in her acknowledgement page for her thesis - yes, I am still bitter about it!) kept on pestering me and went so far to create this blog for me, and I have not looked back eversince. There is always things to write and share, and I'm glad that I've started it.

I think it wasn't that hard for me, because I have always kept a diary and wrote in it whenever I have the time. Of course, it's easier then, because I can write anything and anytime I want. But with blogs, I need to be online (and not having the facility at home means I am now a frequent cyber cafe visitor) and I can't simply write anything. Private matters should still remain private.

But with blogging, there is always opportunity to make new friends, and with that alone as a reason, I am glad that I started to blog. Not only do I get to make new friends, I also get to try new things, go to places that I never imagined of going before, and dine at places I never know existed before.

This is my 100th post. And I hope there will be more to come. I'm sure there will.

Thank you for sticking by.

Friday, December 28

Interlude (5)

“I know you’ve been looking for love, that you’re hoping for love,” she said.
“I’m not looking for love,” he told her, while staring into her deep brown eyes.
“I’ve already found love.”

With that, he left her there, on the bed; letting his words sink into her guarded heart.

“He’s in love with me,” she suddenly realized.

Thursday, December 27

Thursday teaser

It’s time for another brain teaser, but first of all, here are the answers for the previous one.

  1. Philip. They would sit in this order: John, Philip, Sally, and Gerald.

  2. 26 minutes

  3. 240

  4. He said, “I will be shot.” If he were shot, it would be the truth, and if they hanged him it would be a lie. So they set him free.

  5. Every month has 28 days.

Congratulations to Bakawali and Najibest for getting 4 out of 5 correct answers. Prizes should be in your mailbox in 2 weeks times.

Now, for another round of questions.

  1. You are at a meeting at which there are only liars and truthtellers. A woman comes up to you and says that the chairman of the meeting told her he was a liar. Is she a liar or a truthteller, and how do you know?

  2. A man goes to visit his friend thirty miles away. He doesn’t mind speeding, so he travels at 60 miles per hour and arrives in half an hour. On the way back, however, he has a little trouble with his car, and it takes him an hour to reach home. What was his average speed for the round trip?

  3. You have just tossed a coin that has come up heads for the tenth time in a row. What is the probability that it will come up heads the next time?

  4. What word, when you add additional letters, becomes smaller?

  5. Paul usually beats Patty at croquet, but loses to Joe. Tom wins most of the time against Patty, and sometimes against Paul, but cannot beat Joe. Who is probably the worst player?

Well, good luck!

Wednesday, December 26

It's too late to apologize

They have been friends for more than 7 years. The best of friends. He was always there for her, and she for him. He was there when she went through a bad relationship and felt depressed after her break up for a year. And she was there when his mother passed away and left a void in his life.

Their friends thought there was something going on between them. It's impossible, they said, for two people of the opposite sex to be so close together and not having a relationship. But he always insisted that they were like brothers and sisters. Nothing more than that. If there was anything going on between them, they really hid it well.

Of course, there were always moments where things might just happened between them. Like the time a few years back when they went for a trip together to an island, and they were caught in the heat of the moment, walking down the beach and enjoying the warm breeze from the sea. He glanced at her and thought she never looked so beautiful, and she was thinking in her mind what would it feel like to taste his lips. And their lips brushed that day, but they both withdrawn at the same time, blushing overly red and bumbling over apologies.

And there was the time when she came over to his bachelor's pad, and he was clad in his towel when he opened the door, and she thought he looked so sexy and hot, and she leaned towards him just to get a whiff of his odour.

And now, he was dating her best friend. She was okay with it at first, but after a while, she noticed the things that she miss by not telling him how she really felt. Like how he always whisper secretly to his girlfriend, and how he always squeezed his girlfriend's shoulder when she was feeling down.

And when he told her that he was going to propose to his girlfriend, she knew that this was the time. She had to tell him, she had to let him know. And she did.

He didn't say anything to her after her confession. Instead, he walked away. The week after, he and his girlfriend parted ways, because he told the girlfriend about what happened, and she, being a good friend to the girl, asked for the break. He was devastated, for he really loved her.

He was confused. He had always like the girl, always loved her, but not in the capacity of what she wanted. Is he going to lose the two girls that he really cared about, his true love and his best friend?

Things will never be the same again. He knew that. And she knew it too. Somehow, whatever they had before, was broken. And as he explained it to her, he saw her tears flowed freely down her cheeks.

"It is but a shadow and a thought that you love. I cannot give you what you seek."

Monday, December 24

A bladderful of burden

It was unbearable. Sitting at the back of the bus, I squirmed and tapped my foot impatiently. The bus had only been on the road for 5 minutes, and I was already fidgeting. I crossed my legs every now and then, trying to keep myself distracted long enough to forget about the problem at hand.

Looking at the scenery outside didn't help either. There were traces of flooding everywhere, and at certain places, there was still water on the ground. Yellow muddy water. The ones that you wouldn't want to step into. Who knows what lies underneath?

The next exit was still 30km away. I wasn't sure if I could hold that long. I suddenly thought of my water bottle in the bag. Sure, there was still some water inside, but I could empty the bottle and slowly refill it. But to do it inside a bottle, now that would be a challenge. At least I was at the back of the bus, sitting on a single seat. The man next to me across the aisle was sleeping, and the pretty lady in front of me won't notice at all. All I need was to be discreet, and quiet. But I have never done this before, and what if it overflows?

The roadside. I can always ask the driver to stop temporarily and run down and do it by the roadside. But it was daylight, and the highway was packed with motorists. But at this moment, does it matter? I was on the verge of exploding, and now my fists were clenched tightly as I tried to keep my bladder in check.

15km away to the next stop. I can do this. I can wait another 15km. But I need to distract myself. I know, I should think of something sexy. Something stimulating. Like a naked Beyonce or Rihanna. But I just can't concentrate. Beyonce suddenly turned watery, and Rihanna was holding an umbrella walking under the rain. That didn't help at all.

10km. Calm down. Close your eyes, you can do this. Just a little bit more. I was now sitting very still, for any single movement might just triggered it out. Maybe a little pain might distract me enough, so I started to bite my fingers. Okay, that didn't help at all.

5km more. So close, yet so far away. The bus is now travelling at a constant speed. It shouldn't take long now. My legs were now shivering. And as another signboard flashed by, stating the next rest stop is a further 2km away, I jumped up and walked to the front. I begged the bus driver to stop at the next incoming stop. The driver just grunted, and I sat there next to him. Almost there, almost there. And as the bus swerved to the left, I said a silent prayer. The door was only halfway open when I jumped down and walked as fast as I could to the toilet.

And I have to say, it was the best 5 minutes ever. I stood there at the urinal, sighing and enjoying myself tremendously, glad that I finally managed to empty my full bladder. For a moment, I felt like a huge burden was lifted of my shoulder. The ecstasy was too much.

That ought to teach me not to drink too much before a long journey.

Sunday, December 23

Clever inventions

We could use some of these to make life a little easier.

Are you fed up with bringing bananas to work or to school only to find them bruised or squashed? Banana guard allows you to safely transport and storage individual bananas letting you enjoy perfect bananas anytime, anywhere.

One Click Butter Cutter controls your portion as an important part of staying healthy. This ingenious butter cutter delivers one standard pat with each click of the handle. No more scrapping cold hard butter with your butter knife.

What day is today? You don't know? Then you need a DayClock. It's uniquely designed to keep track of weekly events like your golf day, poker night, movie night and so much more. It's ideal for cruises and vacation when it's easy to lose track of the day.

"Who left the toilet seat up?" The PeaceMaker will end the battle of the toilet seat. Merely step on the pedal to activate the lifting mechanism. When finished, remove your foot from the pedal and the seat gently comes to rest where it started.

If you are travelling a lot and don't always know the language of the country you are visiting, then this T-shirt is for you. It has a phrase book printed on it so just a point of a finger at the pictogram you need and then point it twice at the question mark, which means, "Where is it?" and in no time you have found what you were looking for... or not.

You love toast, but you always burn it? Than this invention is for you. This transparent toaster allows you to see the bread while it is toasting so you just have to take it out when the colour is right. This is based on a transparent heating glass technology.

Saturday, December 22

I will move the stars for you

How do you make a woman fall for you? Do you keep on trying even after she tells you that she is not interested in you? Or do you keep your distance, but never too far away, so that whenever you are needed, you are always available for her?

There is nothing more heartbreaking than a rejected love. But that doesn't mean it is the end of the world, or the end of your life. There are other loves out there. There are other chances, other opportunities. You shouldn't shut yourself up, build an invisible barrier so that no one can penetrate. No, you should let yourself fall again, and let yourself get hurt again. Because in that process, you will be better person, if not bitter.

I particularly enjoyed an episode of Futurama, where Fry tried to woo Leela and asked her to date him. He tried a lot of things, said witty (more like stupid pick-up lines) remarks, yet Leela still wasn't interested. Some of the examples:

Fry: Psst! Leela. I've set up a time-proof shelter in the closet. There's only room for two, and you're the one I wanna share it with.
Leela: Fry, that's so sweet. Let me see... How exactly will this protect us from time jumps?
Fry: Because when we're together in here, baby, time will stand still.

Leela: Your face can take a lot of punishment. That's good to know.
Fry: There's a lot about my face you don't know! Perhaps you and it could get better acquainted over dinner.
Leela: Alright! Cool your jets, hotshot.
Fry: C'mon, Leela, why won't you go out with me? We both know there's something there.
Leela: No, I mean cool your jets. They're melting Bender's face.

Fry: So, Leela, how about a romantic ride in one of those swan boats? They're kinda dangerous but I finally mastered them.
Leela: Those aren't swan boats, they're swans.
Fry: Oh. That explains these boat eggs.

Fry: Leela, I want you to know I think the way you moved those stars around was really wonderful. I got you something.
Leela: Moderately-priced, domestic, non-vintage champagne? How did you know?
Fry: You deserve it. I mean, nobody ever stops to tell you what a great captain you are.
Leela: Aw! That is so true and sweet.
Fry: You're smart, you're beautiful, and best of all, you'll go out with me-e?
Leela: Fry, please try to understand: You're a man, I'm a woman. We're just too different.

Fry: Look. I've been studying how to pilot the ship. Impressed?
Leela: Yeah, actually. You're doing OK. The core reactor temperature's nominal, the blinker's off.
Fry: I learned how to work the gravity pump too. In case we need to move more stars. So, are we dating now?

Fry: Look, Leela. I know there's some perfect, amazing thing I can do to make you love me, and when I figure out what it is-
Leela: Fry, stop. I don't wanna hurt you, but there is absolutely, positively no way that you and I will ever, ever-

Of course, Fry never gave up. They ended up being married, but that's not the point. He finally got Leela to love him by using the gravity pump to move the stars, and formed the words "I love you, Leela". Now, I bet any women would fall for that.

Still, you need to watch that particular episode to understand the whole story. I find it really romantic in a weird way, although it wasn't meant to be so.

So what was the best thing you ever did to make someone fall for you?

Tuesday, December 18

Lost in time

Love is supposed to be eternal. When you love, and lost, you do not forget the love as easily. Somehow, you hold on to that love, and you carry it close to your heart. Eventhough the love has died, deep inside of you, you still secretly nurturing it, hoping that one day, maybe one day, it will come back.

And you keep holding on, afraid of letting it go, afraid of moving on, and afraid of betraying the love. You stay the same, follow the same routine, wear the same clothes. You shut yourself from the world, and you close yourself up. And you cry yourself to sleep every night.

I do not know about you, but I'm a sucker to romantic movies. I saw Lost in time last night on TV3, and eventhough I have already seen that movie before, it never failed to mesmerised me with its plots and storyline.

The story is simple. It's about a girl who lost her fiancee in an accident. The girl, played perfectly by Cecilia Cheung, struggled to accept the fact. Her fiancee was a bus driver, and when he died, she had the bus repaired and took to driving the bus. The bus was where they first met, and had romantic time together, and by keeping the bus around, she was also keeping alive the memory of her true departed love.

She also had to take care of her fiancee's five year-old son, while struggling to earn enough money to feed herself and pay the rent. But when things looked doomed, a friend of her fiancee (also a fellow bus driver) came into the picture, and developed a relationship with her. Not a romantic relationship at first, as he was mostly helping her out with the son and also with the bus. But soon enough, something developed between them, and they embraced the feelings hesitantly.

She was holding on to her past love. And he was also doing the same. In fact, his wife walked out on him with their son a long time ago. He was a drunk and a gambler at that time. But he changed, and he kept on hoping that his wife would come back to him. But he was just holding on to something that he knew would never happened.

Of course, the ending was a good one. But yet, it doesn't stop me from thinking about how sometimes, we believe in something so much that we are afraid of letting it go. We keep on holding onto it, even when we know it will just cause more heartbreaks and suffering.


Maybe because we are just human. And we make mistakes.

Monday, December 17

Random questions

Tagged by Hazyr and Guile.

1) Name of a person who made you laugh last night
William Gallas (his hairdo to be exact)

2) What were you doing at 0800?
Sleeping, what else?

3) What were you doing 30minutes ago?
Had tea and nasi lemak at the friendly neighbourhood mamak.

4) What happened to you in 2006?
Can you believe me when I say I don’t remember?

5) What was the last thing you said out loud?
Monday is a half-day? Drats!

6) How many beverages did you have today?
One. Hot tea.

7) What colour is your hairbrush?
I don't have a hairbrush. But my comb is brown, and I’ve been using the same comb since 1995.

8) What was the last thing you paid for?
RM2.80 for two nasi lemak and tea.

9) Where were you last night?
Watching the big game with a friend in Cheras

10) What colour is your front door?

11) Where do you keep your change?
I stack them on my dresser.

12) What's the weather like today?
Cold, just nice for a long slumber.

13) What's the best ice-cream flavour?
It has to be strawberry

14) What excites you?
Sports (and sex)

15) Do you want to cut your hair?
Definitely. Maybe this time I’ll do a McDreamy

16) Are you over the age of 25?

17) Do you talk a lot?
At times.

18) Do you watch the O.C?
Once upon a time, when they were showing it on 8TV

19) Do you know anyone named Steven?

20) Do you make up your own words?
Yes, at times

21) Are you a jealous person?
Yes I am.

22) Name a friend whose name starts with the letter 'A'

23) Name a friend whose name starts with the letter 'K'

24) Who's the first person on your received call list?

25) What does the last text message you received say?
017******* has been successfully top up with RM30

26) Do you chew on your straw?
Nope. But sometimes I use the straw to clean my teeth

27) Do you have curly hair?

28) Where's the next place you're going to?
Petrol station

29) Who's the rudest person in your life?
I don’t know any.

30) What was the last thing you ate?
Nasi lemak

31) Will you get married in the future?
Definitely. Of course. For sure. Absolutely.

32) What's the best movie you've seen in the past 2 weeks?
I read the review of I am Legend. Has yet to seen it though.

33) Is there anyone you like right now?

34) When was the last time you did the dishes?
A month ago

35) Are you currently depressed?

36) Did you cry today?

37) Why did you answer and post this?
I’m taking a break from work.

38) Tag 5 people who would do this survey.
Nevermind that, since everybody I know has already been tagged.

Friday, December 14

Friday teaser

It’s been a cold gloomy Friday, and I can feel my brain freezes over, clanking away mechanically at work. It’s been raining all day long, and at places not far away from here, people are being made homeless and trapped because of the floods. It’s a depressing thought!

So let’s get that brain of yours working a bit, and try to solve this puzzles and questions below.

  1. There are four seats in a row at a concert. Philip will sit next to Sally, but not next to Gerald. If Gerald will not sit next to John, who is sitting next to John?

  2. How many minutes is it before six o’clock if fifty minutes ago it was four times as many minutes past three o’clock?

  3. How many odd pages are there in a book 479 pages long?

  4. A soldier has been captured by the enemy. He has been so braved that they offer to let him choose how he wants to be killed. They tell him, “If you tell a lie, you will be shot, and if you tell the truth, you will be hanged.” He can make only one statement. He makes the statement and goes free. What did he say?

  5. How many months have twenty-eight days?

See how many can you answer correctly. Answers will be posted up next week.

Thursday, December 13

Miracle in Stade Velodrome

Not that many people gave Liverpool a chance after the finished the first round of the Champions League group stage with only 1 point. Staring at elimination, they bounced back and trounced Besiktas 8-0 and trashed Porto 4-1, before ending the group by demolishing Marseille 4-0. Coupled with a bit of luck on the other results, Liverpool managed to secure their passage to the knockout phases, albeit finishing second in the group.

That means they are looking at the likes of Real Madrid, Barcelona, Sevilla, AC or Inter Milan as their next opponent. Fernando Torres preferred to play his old adversaries Real Madrid for the next game. Torres told the clubs website: "I hope that we draw Real Madrid, that would be a great tie. We have a chance to play a team from Spain or Italy, but playing Madrid would be really good".

The built up for the game against Marseille was tensed. With Benitez at loggerheads with the club owners George Gillett and Tom Hicks, plenty of wild rumours were flying around. Failure to progress to the next stage would have definitely added fire to the rumours. Benitez's future remains uncertain despite an apparent thaw in his relationship with the co-owners following a disagreement over transfer policy. Even the weekend game against Reading was played half-heartedly, with everyone’s mind on the big game. Needless to say, Liverpool lost tamely 1-3 and Gerrard, Carragher and Torres were substituted early to ensure that they are fresh for the next game.

The game against Marseille started perfectly with Liverpool scoring two early goals, one being a gem by Torres with his superb finishing, and another one from Gerarrd. Another two goals by Kuyt and Babel stamped Liverpool's dominance over the home team. No other English team has came to Stade Velodrome and won before previously, with Marseille holding a 6-0 record against them. But records are meant to be broken, and Liverpool did just that with a flourish.

Now that qualification is out of the picture, Liverpool will be looking forward to the next game this weekend against Manchester United. If the game against Marseille was to determine their fate in the Champions League, then this weekend game will see if they can be considered as the real contender for the elusive league title.

Let's hope for the best.

Wednesday, December 12

When I fall in love

When was the last time you fall in love? You feel weak on your knees, you have butterflies in your stomach, your throat feel so dry and you can barely construct a sentence without blubbering. All you can do is gaze and stare, and you feel like your heart is going to explode, but at the same time, it is beating so slow that you could barely feel it.

And you know, at that precise moment, that you are in love.

I’m not saying that is how we should fall in love. There are many types of love; friendship love, security love, romantic love and unconditional love, to name a few. Friendship love is a love between yourself and someone that is totally honest, open and comfortable. You can share everything with that someone, and feel comfortable talking and sharing even your deepest secret with that person.

Security love is more like a bond between parents and their children. It is a nurturing and caring kind of love, where we thrive on in order to be happy. It is also a love between human and God, which can also be, the ultimate love of all.

Romantic love can be love at first sight, someone you are attracted to because of the person physical appearance. Sometimes you can feel a certain connection with that person. But most of the time, it is also associated with lust.

Then there is unconditional love, a sincere love that last forever. When nothing else matter, as long as the other person is happy and safe.

But how do you know when you really fall in love, and not lust? For starters, lust is a temporary emotion, you like someone based on the person physical appearance. You might find that as soon as you get to know them for their personality, you are no longer interested in them. Lust is also not enough to sustain a long-lasting relationship. Most of the time, the relationship just fizzles away once you get past the infatuation stage.

Then comes the next question, what is true love? Does it even exist? And do you even dare believing in it? True love is rare. True love is a part of unconditional love, and also romantic love. True love is what sustains a relationship through eternity. But how do you know when true love comes knocking on your heart?

Let me tell you how I know. For me, it involves intimacy, passion and commitment. I feel strongly about her, strong enough to miss her when she is not around but respect her enough to let her pursue her own goals and interests. I care about her well-being and want the best for her, even if it means that I may have to sacrifice some of my time with her. And I should be able to get angry or disappointed with her without it ever changing how I feel about her.I also know that I’m interested in her both physically and mentally. I don't think it is enough, for example, to love someone because the person is nice. There are a lot of nice people in the world, so it should be more than that. They need to possess many different qualities that you enjoy and admire.

Yes, I do believe in true love. And yes, I am in love.

If only I have the courage to tell her how I feel.

Tuesday, December 11

Fitness first

I used to run a lot. I used to run everyday. Then it dwindled to 4 times a week. And slowly, it became twice a week, until finally, I stopped running. I don't know why. Maybe I was busy with work. Maybe I thought playing basketball 3 times a week is sufficient enough to supplement my running needs. Maybe I'm too tired, or too lazy to run anymore. Maybe I'm using the weather as an excuse not to run.

But today, I started again. And as always, it felt good. Which kind of made me wonder, why did I stopped in the first place? I have always love running, because once upon a time ago, running was my key out of depression. A good run always make me feel better afterwards. And it make me feel good about myself too. So if you know someone who is depressed, get that person to run. And really run, till you get breathless and a sharp pain in your gut.

There are many reasons why people joined the friendly neighbourhood gyms that keep sprouting in every new malls nowadays. Most of the time, the joining fees are waived, and the monthly fees are not that expensive as before (more gyms mean more competition). It's affordable, and it's a good excuse to be out of the house, if you're married.

"Honey, I'm going to the gym," said the husband.
"Again?" Complained the wife.
"Well, I'm paying for it every month, so better make good use of it," replied the husband.

Of course, it's better to get the wife to join together, so that you can sweat it out together and have a better and healthy relationship. But I guess the husband is more interested in sweating it out in the bedroom with the wife, while checking out other targets in the gym. If you don't believe me, go and visit the gym, and check out the studio where the aerobics classes are being held (such as body combat, steps, coyote dance), and you will also notice a bunch of guys sitting outside watching the girls jumping up and around (I was in that crowd previously).

But that besides the point.

It's good to be fit and feeling good about the shape of your body. And yes, round is a shape, but it's not a good shape to begin with. Round should be only associated with doughnuts, and not the shape of your body, or your tummy. Don't you think it's good to stand naked in front of the mirror and admiring your nicely-toned abs? Or your muscular chest? And don't you think it's good to be able to look down and see something (hopefully huge) dangling about and around instead of seeing your tummy potruding out and blocking the view?

And what about being able to reach the top of the mountain and not feeling totally out of breath while doing it? And also being able to play basketball, or futsal, and outlast those who are even younger than you are? And being able to finish the 10km race well within the appointed time?

Don't you think all that is worth achieving?

I do, and that is why I'm starting to run again.

Monday, December 10

Burning the bridge

Time seems to crawl when you are waiting for the day to end. Especially when things aren’t going so smoothly at work. There are too many things happening at once, and the influxes of news, most of them bad, are not really helping at all. Where will all these lead?

Most probably nowhere, but worse come to worse, it might be the sign that I’ve been waiting for all this while. If that is the case, then decisions need to be made, and choices need to be considered. Knowing me, it will be a struggle for me, being someone who hates changes and new routines.

But that doesn’t mean that I can sit on my butt and hope for things to work out by themselves. Maybe this is for the better. Maybe this time the grass will really be greener on the other side. Maybe this time a change of scenery might benefit me in the long run. But I need to make the first step.

And making the first step is always the hardest part.

Friday, December 7

What women want

I can live up to the ripe age of a hundred, which sounds ridiculous, and still not understand women. I can date 100 women, which sounds more ridiculous, and still not understand them. I can devote my whole lifetime to study them, and at the end of the day, I will still be back at square one. And I can love one woman, and one woman only, and may die a happy man, yet I may still not understand her completely.

If you’re a general in a battle, one of the ways to defeat your enemy is to think like the enemy. Anticipate your enemy’s every moves, and you might just win the battle. It’s like a game of chess; the one who can see his opponent next moves is as close to winning the game.

But women are not the enemy. So we do not think like them. And dating women is not like playing a game of chess, so we do not plan our next move and anticipate their next move. Although I got a feeling that is what we do most of the time anyway. There are times when we even tried to hard that it repels them away.

You put little effort, you put too much effort, you put just the right amount of effort, and nothing seems to work. Better not to do anything then, you might think. But you do not want to live alone and lonely for the rest of your life. You might not need them now, but further down the line, you’ll be wondering, and pondering, what would have happened if you had made that extra move, taken that extra step. Maybe life would be a little better. But then again, maybe not.

Come to think of it, it’s a huge gamble. You can live without them, you can’t live without them. I’ve known friends who are happily married, and I’ve known friends who were married for a short time, and got divorced. But that doesn’t stop them from dating other women, and for some, remarrying. And I known a friend who divorced his wife, and 5 years later, ended up remarrying his ex-wife. Now, how weird is that?

And there are also some who are single, and they look happy. But I have no idea what goes on in their mind, especially late at night. (I’m not in that category, since I’m single and miserable)

Somehow, I believe women secretly do not know what they themselves want in the first place. Maybe that’s the reason why men can never understand them. Everytime we thought we had everything figured out, they throw a curve ball instead, and there goes strike one. In the end, we’ll end up hitting air instead of the ball.

Strike three, you’re out! Back to the dug out, buster!

Thursday, December 6

The other side of the coin

We are, by nature, a bunch of pessimist. We are also selfish, and would rather hurt others to get ourselves to a better position in the hierarchy, be it at work, or in social standings. We look at things negatively, always complaining and never thankful enough for what we have in the first place.

I think that is the problem plaguing humankind nowadays. That is why so many people are unhappy. That is why we go to war with other nations. That is why there are way too many crimes happening all around us. And that is why, we will end up destroying the earth, one of these days.

Sure, the government sucks. Which government doesn't suck? I'm sure if the opposition run the country, it's going to end up pretty much the same, if not worse. Corruption, red tapes, finger pointing, those are the essence of a government. We learnt it all in our history lessons, over and over again. We know why things never work as they are supposed to. We know why billion dollars project went ashtray when the money has already been pumped into it. And we know why the people are staging protest over protest, demonstrating their displeasure and unhappiness on how things are shaping up.

Yes, we have a choice. We can fight, and we can sit quietly, and go about our business. We can complain and bitch about this minister, or that minister, over a cup of teh tarik at our favourite mamak hangouts. We are paying taxes, and we have the right to know what is happening with our money.

Look around. Do you not see the road, even if it is a bloody mess and filled with potholes? Do you not see the schools, the houses, the hospitals and the malls? Do you not see the buses, the lrts, the trains and the cars? And do you not see the factories and the offices and the tall buildings around you?

It's always the same for us everyday. We wake up and we go to work and we come back home after work. At the end of the month, we get paid, and we spend our wages to get by, we pay the home loan, car loan, credit cards and we shop at the malls. We cheer for our favourite football team, we hang out with friends till late at night, we go on holidays around the country, and sometimes abroad, and we join the local gym so that we can look good and feel good about ourselves. Sure, the pay is not that much, but we still get by every month. It might be tight sometimes, but what is life without a few challenges?

If only we can cherish what we have, if only we can be thankful with what we have, instead of being jealous and bitter because someone else is having a better life than we are, then we would be a lot happier. So life is tough, what's new? People everywhere all over the world would kill to be in your shoes. You don't believe me?

Next time you see someone really poor, ask him.

Wednesday, December 5

Guilty as charged

I do not know about you, but I got a sick feeling reading this particular news. The guy was convicted of three counts of rape, two counts of sodomy, one for forcing one of his victims to perform oral sex on him and for illegally confining one of his young victims between 2004 and 2006.

And he had the gist to appeal for a lighter sentence? Just because he wanted to spend more time with his family? Well, Mr. Serial Raper, you should have thought of that before you went around cajoling little girls and raping them. You should have known better than using religion as a facade to your crime.

He was sentenced to 30 years of jail and 24 lashes of the rotan. I say he deserves more. He should rot in prison for as long as he lives. He should be whacked with the rotan everyday. It's one thing when you commit the crime, but to do so without remorse and guilt, now that is another thing. How can you say your victims were not hurt and can be cured in the future, while your sentence will cause you to suffer for the rest of your life? The victims might not be hurt physically, but what about their emotional and mental state? The nightmare of being raped at a very early age, I don't think that is curable. The trauma will always be there.

I really pity the wife and the kid. Maybe they are better off without him. Who needs someone who goes around and seduced little girls anyway? And next thing you know, he'll be turning on his own flesh and blood.

It's alarming to see this kind of cases happening all around us. What happened to our education system? What happened to our society? As we strive to achieve the status of a developed nation, is it tolerable to have a high crime rate?

Tuesday, December 4

The deafening silence

Could it be, that I have forgotten how to write? Or am I just plain lazy? Whatever the reasons are, it's been too long, too long even for my own liking. The lack of activity, the lack of updates, it feels like I'm walking through a ghost town. Come to think of it, it feels like I'm here. But I'm not dead yet.

I am still alive.

Now, the real reason for the long silence is I was away on a long-deserved vacation. After years of slaving and saving, I finally have enough cash to go abroad and enjoy the different types of bread along the road. It helps when everyone can fly nowadays, although the seats on the new airbus could have been designed better, leather or no leather. Luckily I wasn't on one of those long haul flights, mine lasted barely 2 hours, not even enough for a proper nap.

I have always believed that you can go anywhere, and have the best of times, as long as you go with the right group of friends. The ones that share the same interests, passions and do not mind the occasional patch of bad luck along the way. Heck, you can probably have fun in hell if you're with the right company, literally speaking. And I am blessed to have such friends. Thus, the awesome trip.

Of course, after being away from work for such a long period of time, it is expected to come back with triple amount of work waiting at my desk. Luckily there are other distractions, else I would have gone crazy in no time. Still, it's going to be a busy and hectic December for me.

Let's hope I'll have enough energy to last me through the month.