Monday, January 28


Aristotle claimed that hope is the dream of a waking man. While Lord Byron thought that hope is nothing but the paint on the face of Existence; the least touch of truth rubs it off, and then we see what a hollow-cheeked harlot we have got hold of. But Seademon found a better meaning to hope, it's a hotel in Pennsylvania.

But then again, you can get a better meaning of hope from here. It's a belief in a positive outcome related to events and circumstances in one's life.

Something that you need to believe in. So does this mean a pessimist cannot hope?

Hope is indeed a dangerous thing. And Raistlin Majere summed it up very well. It is the denial of reality. It is the carrot dangled before the draft horse to keep him plodding along in a vain attempt to reach it. It can drive a man insane.

But we keep on hoping. We keep on hoping for better things to come. We keep on hoping for a better tomorrow. And we keep on hoping for happiness, and everlasting love.

But most of the time, things which you do not hope happen more than things which you do hope. That's life for you. Some people call it the irony of life. Alanis Morissette sang about it, "And life has a funny way of helping you out when you think everything has gone wrong and everything blows up in your face."

And of course, expecting something for nothing is the most popular form of hope. We prefer to just hope for a better everything, be it a better job with a better pay, or a better health. Yet, we do not do anything about it. That is when hope turns into a wish. And wish turns into dreams. And we sit all day long daydreaming about nice things, and a better tomorrow.

So, does this mean that you must not hope to be something more than you can be? Should you just settle with being you? Should you just be happy with what you have, and what you have achieved?

You need hope. You need to know that tomorrow will be better than today. And that is why we live on hope, like so many others born into this uncertain world.

There's hope for everyone. That's what makes the world goes around. That's what makes us keep on living. No matter how dark the moment, love and hope are always possible. And those who give up on hope and love, will never achieve anything in this world. We need to know that the greatest joy are found not only in what we do and feel, but also in what we hope for. A very small degree of hope is sufficient to cause the birth of love.

Hope changes everything, doesn't it?

At the end of the day, I think Thomas Carlyle said it all, "He who has health, has hope; and he who has hope, has everything."

Saturday, January 26

Late again

It was a weird dream. I woke up startled, with images of a hippogriff and a topless three-headed girl still clear in my mind. The girl was sexy, but the three heads kept whispering different things to me, confusing me with secrets and lies. I shrugged the images off my mind, and glanced at the time.

It's 9am! I'm so late for work.

I jumped into the shower for a quick wash, and after putting on some clothes, rushed out and got into the car. Luckily I only live 5 minutes away from work, so a few minutes late won't do me any harm.

However, when I reached the office, the gate was locked, and it seemed that nobody is at work. Wait a minute, what day is today? Damn it! It's a Saturday!

And to think that I rushed out for nothing. That's what happened when there was a public holiday in the middle of the week, and all I think about before I go to sleep is work.

Time to go home and hit the snooze button.

Thursday, January 24

At the edge

It is hard to keep a positive mind when everything around you reeks of negativity. Everywhere you turn, you can sense that things aren’t working out as well as it should have. You might feel like the whole world is going against you, and the odds of you surviving is overwhelmingly small.It’s like luck has finally decided to ditch you and leave you in a messy hole, and all you can rely on is your faith that sooner or later, things will shape up and turn to the better.

Faith, and self-belief. What else can you rely on nowadays? You just need to trust yourself, and to keep going on, instead of giving up. Giving up is so easy. Just drop everything, pull the sheets up, and curl down in bed for days. But you can’t sleep away your problems. You still need to wake up, and once you do, the same problem will still be there, staring at you straight in the face.

Of course, the easiest way out is to commit suicide. Now, that might do the trick, since you do not need to wake up anymore. Hence, the problems and troubles will just lie there waiting for nought, eaten away by time.

But that is a selfish solution. You might get away with it, but what about your loved ones? And the ones who rely on you? And if you think killing yourself is easy, think again. After deciding on the method, you still need to garner enough courage to actually do the act. And you definitely do not want to botch things up, since failed attempts might lead to broken limbs, or worse, mental institution.

That is why it is very important to keep your sanity intact. That is why it is very important to keep a positive mind. And that is what I’m trying to do now, despite this huge workload that has been shoving the back of my mind, rendering me mad with stress and helplessness.

Now, if only I can stop time. That might just do the trick.

Wednesday, January 16


What to write? What to write?

I believe I am a victim of "have nothing to write but feel compelled to update my blog".

So this is the update: I am hungry.

And miserable. Yes, I am feeling a tad miserable.

Maybe because I am missing someone. Or maybe because I am simply hungry.

I should get something to eat. Then I'll know the real reason why I'm feeling miserable.

Thursday, January 10

Random facts about me

I've been tagged by Naiza.

The Rules:

1. Link to your tagger and post these rules.
2. List eight (8) random facts about yourself.
3. Tag eight people at the end of this post and list their names.
4. Let them know they've been tagged by leaving them a comment on their blogs.

List eight (8) random facts about myself:
  1. I love sports. All kind of sports. Not only do I play them, but I also check the results almost everyday.

  2. When I read the newspaper, I always start from the back (sports section), then the TV guide, and then the comics. If I have time, then I'll read the rest.

  3. I'm a sucker for free tupperware. When there's an offer for it, most of the time I will purchase the item just to get tupperware. I have heaps of tupperware at home now.

  4. I hate oatmeal, but I eat it for lunch almost everyday because it is healthy and easy and fast to prepare. I normally add raisins and cereals to make it more edible.

  5. I don't drink milk.

  6. I hate waking up early in the morning. I'm a slow riser. Never a morning person, to begin with. That explains why I'm always late for work.

  7. I'm a big eater. My friends call me lori sampah, simply because I'll be the one finishing off the leftovers on the table. The fact is, I hate to waste food, period.

  8. I think I'm good with my tongue. Not sure how relevant that is though.

Now, I would like to tag the followings:
  1. Bakawali

  2. Seademon

  3. Spena

  4. Ryzah

  5. Nuwwul

  6. Guile

  7. Najib

  8. Manal

Wednesday, January 9


I hate to admit it, but I am hooked to Facebook. Now, I have read previously about other people's addiction and scoffed at them as having nothing else better to do, but I guess my words are coming back to haunt me.

That explains why I haven't written anything in here for days now.

It's not that I don't have anything else better to do, in fact, anything else has now been postponed to an indefinite time. My clothes are lying all over the place, the kitchen is now a war zone, my lawn is now a jungle to my cats, and my stack of newspapers lay stationary under the bed unread. But the most incredible part is, the TV has been silence for almost a week now.

Me, not watching TV? Now that is totally unheard off!

Come to think of it, I can still remember once upon a time ago when I got hooked to something else. Years ago, when I was way younger and foolish, I used to be hooked to MUDS. It's actually an online text-based multiplayer role-playing game. It's something like Ragnorak Online, but instead with graphics, it is all text-based. That means you have to read the description and type in the command instead of clicking the mouse. In a way, it improved my typing speed, since you really need to type fast in order to be good at it.

But that was a really long addiction. I think I spent most of my waking hours playing the game. The computer lab was open 24 hours at that time, and I would be there, diligently working on my character, levelling up each night and interacting with the other players. Don't ask me when I found the time to eat, and attend classes. I probably did that when I was sleeping.

The MUDS I was playing was called LordMud, and it was based on Tolkien's The Lord of the Rings. Yes, I've read the books long before the movies were out, and the world and characters in the MUDS were based on the books. I was even appointed as a builder, and help to improve the place with new areas.

Too bad LordMud has ceased to exist.

So what is there to gain from this kind of addiction? Probably nothing. Wasting away in front of the computer is not how I envision myself doing nowadays. Maybe this time it is only temporary. Maybe I'm just doing this to keep myself distracted. Maybe I'm just bored.

Damn you, Facebook!

Friday, January 4


It’s an hour to go before I can pack up and leave this office, and everything associated with it behind for the weekend. It has been a long week, and with the new year just rolling in, I guess it kind of set up the tone for the whole year. Another busy year.

I think I’m mentally and physically exhausted with everything at the moment, but that doesn’t mean I am going to crawl under the bed and hide for the rest of the year. Life is all about challenges, and it’s humbling to know that I’m not the only one with struggles in life. And it is definitely inspiring when you come across someone who is trying to achieve something in life, and overcoming the odds stacked against her. I hope everything will work out well for her.

Of course, there is always the weekend to look forward to, and it’s just a matter of hours for a full two days well deserving weekend. It is sad to know that there are people out there who have to work during the weekend. I was one of them previously, but one of my resolutions this year is to cut down on that, because I believe you need to make time for yourself, and spend it with the people that you love, or by doing the things that you love. Or better still, spend it with the people that you love doing the things that you love together.

Now, isn’t that an exciting thought?

Wednesday, January 2

The misadventure in space

Back when I was a wee little boy, I had a dream. I dreamt of flying high up in the air, transcending levels of atmosphere at high speed and emerging far away from where I started, with the blackness of space greeting my arrival. The thousands of stars winked at me, shinning ever so brightly, and mocking me of my immortality. Looking down, I saw the blue green planet I call home, and the brown dry patch somewhere in the middle.

It's oh so beautiful.

Then I remembered that I can't breathe in space, and with one huge gulp, I gasped for air, and started to fall, head first, towards the ground. But it wasn't at terminal velocity, instead, I floated gently, like a piece of paper, while being tickled by the reaching hands of the white clouds.

And as the small specks on the ground got bigger and bigger, I realised that I will smashed my head to little pieces on the ground, so I started to chant.

"There's no place like home, there's no place like home, there's no place like home,"

And clicked my heels three times. But wait, I'm not wearing my magic boots. I can't get home now. And the ground was materialising right before my eyes. So I shut my eyes tight, and forced myself to wake up.

"This is just a dream, this is just a dream, this is just a dream,"

Thud! I was on the ground. No, my head was still intact. Come to think of it, my whole body was still in one piece. But my butt and my left arm were aching. And as I opened my eyes, familiar surroundings greeted me.

I was lying on the floor next to my bed.