Describe a pathetic life. Look at mine, and you've got one. I have such a pathetic life. I have no close friends, I eat alone in my room, I have no girlfriend, I sleep most of the time, I don't talk much, I'm very moody and most of all, I don't have a purpose in life. I look at myself and I feel sorry for myself.
What happened to me? Life wasn't as bad as now before. I've been hitting a downward spiral for the past six years. Down and down I go, without hitting the bottom. And it's an endless journey, for the pit is bottomless. There are no ups and downs in my life, just downs and more downs. I don't even feel the joy from doing the things that I like, such as playing sports. It's like my soul is empty, so empty and hollow. I can hear the echo of my voice when I speak alone to myself.
Yet, I still breathe, I still wake up every morning. I look at the sky sometimes, and I see my life flashing before my eyes. Am I reliving my past? I see no future in me. I see only emptiness and sorrow. Not even darkness exists.
Why does my heart, feels so bad?
Aching. Hurting. Empty. Sorrow. Lonely. The clock is ticking. I can stop the clock, but can I stop the time? I can never stop the time. Time moves on. And so does my pathetic little life, whether I like it or not. I feel so lonely. I feel beaten by life itself. I have lost in my own game. Check, and checkmate.
Why does my heart, feels so bad?
(10th April 2001)
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6 comments:
Hey Ardy, why so melancholic?
Life is shitty...so what's new...
Get out there and enjoy yourself, discover and learn new things, change jobs... Get yourself out of the rut.
Occasionally yeah everyone feels down. But then, don't let the what ifs and the whys dictate the path you will be taking. So what you don't have a girlfriend, by not putting yourself out there no one knows the wonderful world of Ardy..
Life is as we make it. Live life to the fullest, do not put so much expectation on oneself and enjoy the ride....
You are the master of your own destiny
Bakawali,
That was my state of mind about 6 years ago. I am better now (since I did all the things you suggested above). Every now and then I posted pages from my diaries, just to remind myself of the blessings in life.
heheh...good.... btw, why do you write a diary?? I never do
ardy, such a sad post. i didn't think your life was like this. and no, your life is NOT pathetic, ok. believe me, it can only get better (someone always tell that to me...). Let's have a raya get together soon with everyone!
I thought you were writing about me! HAHAHAHAAHAH!
What a pathetic life so far for me...
Bakawali,
I have so many things that I want to share, but being a private person (and not having anyone to share my intimate feelings with), I opted for the diary.
Jazz,
Surprisingly, it was low at that time. But I'm glad I rebounded from it.
Seademon,
It's how we see ourselves that is pathetic sometimes. It was for me.
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