Friday, October 19

Falling pieces

I'm thinking of you right now. I'm also thinking about myself and my predicament. About life ending prematurely. About life without anyone. About her.

Why can't I stop thinking about her? Lately, I haven't been dreaming at all. I used to dream every night, and I cherish every dream, come nightmare or sweet dreams. Because dreams are my escape from reality. Dreams are real to me. Everything can happened in a dream.

But now, I don't dream anymore. I don't know why. A part of my life has gone missing. And I need her to fill up the missing part. I need her to accompany me at nights, when dreams are scarce and I'm all alone. Her, and her alone.

I need you like water like rain like air.

Slow life. Crawling like an injured insect. I am dying and rotting away. Pieces of me is falling apart. I need something badly. I need to believe again. I need to live, to forget about the past and look towards the future. And until I do that, I will forever be falling into a bottomless pit. Where light and darkness do not exist at all. And all there is the void. Just the void. And me, falling and falling. Thinking of my previous life, thinking of my life, thinking of my predicament, but not of the future.

And most of the times, thinking of her.

(11th May 2001)

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

Welcome to the club!

Remember one thing the Bible missed out:

"The meek shall inherit the shit!"

No pain, no pain.

Anonymous said...

Oi! Stop dribbling your balls and get online. I'm friggin' bored!

Cik Puan Sri Quzz said...

So pick me. Choose me. Love me

ManaL said...

U high ke stoned ni, ardy? Or too much McD and makanan openhouse bingeing? when u've been doing the same kinda food for the past week, ur body prolly giving up some signal so u can get a rest, do some detox, join a spa and massage treatment, n smell the aromatherapy.

Yeah by then u'll be back with more witty articles of ur own perspective. And remember our good old buddy the astronaut has landed safely.

all jazzed up said...

Ardy!!!!! When are you buying me donuts!!!!

ardy said...

Seademon,

Come and join me balling, you get to oogle at plenty of perky butts!

Aphroditekuzz,

Just make sure you do not wear a white coat and say that line to me when we meet. Because I might just ;)

ardy said...

Manal,

I've been under the weather lately, I blame it all on this particular bug. What kind of bug, well, I have yet to discover. But I shall be back to my usual chirpy self in no time now.

Jazz,

You're on top of my list now ;) We should have a donut party tomorrow for Spena's homecoming!

Cik Puan Sri Quzz said...

u might juz what?
hantar rombongan meminang...???hahaha...

ardy said...

Aphroditekuzz,

I might just pick you. I might just choose you. And I might just, love you.