Missing death

Right here with you is where I belong. Do you believe in love of a lifetime? That everybody has somebody? In fate?

Fate. Yes. For the rest of your life. Here with you, near with you. Need to be next to you. Mumbo jumbo plane in a gumbo.

How many days left for me to breathe in this life? I lost count. But the end is near, so near that I can feel it breathing at the back of my neck. Every single breath is precious now, for never will I know which one is the last, until the moment arrives. Melancholy. Infinite sadness. Death is inevitable. Unavoidable.

"Do you want to die?"

"I...I.... I don't know."

(8th February 2001)