Letting go

Lost Season 3 is back, with more twists and questions as ever. I know some of you have already watched the whole season on Astro (or probably on DVD). But not being privileged with cable TV, I had to rely on local channels. I don't really mind. I'm a patient man, and now I have something to look forward to on Mondays.

The good thing about good TV shows, is the fact that there is always something that you can relate to with your life. That's why I'm hooked to shows such as Grey's Anatomy, Criminal Minds (you never know what you are really capable of), Lost, Prison Break, and many more. Apart from the drama, comedy and suspense, there is always an underlying theme behind each episode.

And sometimes, it is similar with your life, the tune is exactly the same, and it hits you smack in the face. I've experienced this countless times. That's why I keep coming back for more. That's why I park myself in front of the TV.

It happened to me last night, while watching Lost. An obsession. A grudge. Of not being the man I wanted to be, the man I thought I would be.

And not letting go. Holding on to the remnants of a broken relationship. Holding on to the fragments of painful memories. Holding on to an invisible thread, not even knowing what is at the other end.

Letting go is never easy. Once we attached ourselves to something, or someone, it is never easy to detach ourselves again. For that matter, some people build a barrier around them, an invisible shield, so that they don't have to go through the hurt and pain. So that they do not feel the anguish and betrayal.

Always safe, behind the barrier, always non-committal, in everything they do.

But can you find happiness by doing this? Maybe at first, but in the long run, loneliness, among others, will catch up with you. Yes, you might argue, you'll get used to it. You're right. Some people, they do get used to it. They are somewhat happy. Not extremely happy, but happy nevertheless.

Everything you do in life is a risk. Happiness is a risk. How can you be sure anyway?

You don't. But that doesn't mean you have to go through life blindly. You learn from past mistakes. You have friends and family to help you along the way. It might not be a perfect life, but it is your life.

And this, this is my life. Am I happy? Probably not. Am I the man I imagined myself to be? Definitely not. Do I have regrets? Plenty of them.

But I'm still alive. And I'm still doing the things that I love to do.

And I need to learn how to let go. Just let go.