Every now and then, it's nice to have some time to yourself to just chill out at home, doing particularly nothing and achieving nothing at the same time. I think the correct term for it is time wasting. You can either nap, surf the web, watch TV, or even read. Or you can just laze around in bed, with minimum clothings, and fantasize about anything in random. Which is what I did just now. But my imagination is a bit dull, I think I have a condition called the lazy mind. You normally get it by watching too many porns at one go, which at the same time numb your mind to any feelings whatsoever.
Which is exactly what I am feeling right now. Nothing.
Which is great, because I don't want to feel anything. My shoulders are aching for constantly thinking and feeling. Weird how the shoulders are involved in this, but when you really think about it, it's like the weight of the world is on my shoulders, hence the aching shoulders. and it's not a good feeling.
But wait, I'm not supposed to feel anything.
I rarely get to spend time on my own now, what with work, and other commitments and friends who need babysitting. Which is great, because a busy life means a meaningful life, isn't it? Don't get me wrong, I do love my life. I love my friends, and I love my job (maybe not wholeheartedly, but there is some love in there). Period. No buts, no regrets.
And it's great to have things to do all the time. Even if it's only running to the shop to get today's newspaper. Or feeding the cat and terrorizing the kitten, clearing the junks under the bed while listening to the music, or fixing the air-con fuse for the car. Sometimes, it's the little things you do in life that makes it meaningful, and fulfilling. Yet, some of us crave for something bigger, on a worldly scale, to be truly satisfied and self-fulfilled.
I guess I'm just the typical lazy guy who just wishes that the world can move at a crawling pace.
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