Looney Toons

There's something definitely wrong with Newcastle United. They have not won in a very long time. Their last league win was in December last year, and that was a one nil scoreline away at Fulham. They did beat Stoke City sometime in January, but that was an FA Cup tie, which they played twice because the first game ended in a draw.

They have only scored 30 goals while letting in a whooping 53 goals in 28 games. Basically, their goal difference is second worst after Derby. But Derby County is going down, that's a fact. The other two teams with the same goal difference with Newcastle are languishing at the bottom of the league.

So does this mean Newcastle might join in the fray?

Can you imagine Michael Owen, or Mark Viduka, or even Damien Duff playing in the League Championship (the equivalent to the First Division)? Well, they might have better sense and pack their bags to head to a greener pasture before that happens. But what about the rest of the team? Shay Given is a world class goalkeeper. And there's Obafemi Martins, Alan Smith, Joey Barton and Geremi. Imagine Barton playing in the lower leagues? He's already in enough trouble surviving the Premier League, what's with his off-field antics, his drinking and brawling. I think he's still in jail somewhere, but I might be wrong.

And talking about Shay Given, he used to be a very good goalkeeper. There was a time when a lot of big clubs were interested in him, but he remained loyal to the Toons. He's getting old, but he's a goalkeeper! And I thought goalkeeper gets better with age. I mean, look at David James. He was Calamity James when he was with Liverpool, now his Steady James at Portsmouth. And he still dons England number 1, but that is because there's simply nobody else. Heck, they're even thinking of promoting Ben Foster to No. 1. I mean, if that can't be desperate, I don't know what can!

Kevin Keegan must be having sleepless nights thinking about his predicament. He is doing everything he thinks right, motivating and pushing his players to get the results, yet everytime when the final whistle blows, he is left covering his face and avoiding the cameras. Sooner or later, he will get his first win. He knows it. They won't sack him. Not yet. Not now. Maybe not for a very long time yet. Simply because nobody else is interested in the job. So Keegan is stuck with the team, stuck with a bunch of talents who are so demotivated that they can barely keep their head high after each game.

So the question now is, when will he gets his first win?

You want to know what I think? Definitely not this weekend.

Because they are playing Liverpool!