G for glory

Things were looking great. You had a good date, a good romantic dinner, and as you drive your date home, you asked her if she would like to stop by your place for a cup of coffee, or tea, depending on her preference.

She said yes.

Thank God you had the place cleaned up this morning (mental note: thank mum later for dropping by and tidying up your mess). Mum even probably changed the bedsheet. Nothing beats a newly-washed fresh bedsheet.

Let's skip the coffee (or tea) and the small talk.

She's in your bedroom now, admiring your stuffed toys collection (okay, maybe that's a bit too much, but hey, it's a good way to get a girl into your bedroom. Read: "Want to check out my Pokemons and Barneys?").

You excused yourself to the bathroom, hastily and quietly flossed, brushed your teeth and rinsed your mouth with Oral B mouth-rinse. All in 3 minutes. You got out and see your date getting comfortable on your bed among the purple Barney and the big fuzzy teddy bear. This is it, you thought. It's showtime.

So you joined her in bed, talked a bit, get her into the mood, then kissed her. She responded, and you got into business. After what seemed like an eternity of exchanging saliva and tongue wrestling, your hands slowly and carefully crept in between her legs. You rubbed her panties gently, feeling the tinge of roughness (mental note: she shaved a few days ago) and letting your fingers wander at ease.

Let's skip the foreplay (What! No details! What a rip-off!) and fast-forward to 20 minutes later.

She's naked now. You're naked too. You're on top of her. It feels right. She's wet enough, you're as horny as ever. Her slow moaning is driving you crazy (mental note: this is my lucky night!).

You start off slowly, then it gets faster. She's moaning louder now, and she's telling you to go faster. You push as hard as you can, and you can feel it being over soon, so you slowed down a bit, bidding your time. But she tells you don't stop, go faster, so you blank your mind with more mental notes (mental note: keep her panties as souvenir).

Then it was over. It was good; no, it was great for you, that's for sure. Your best sex ever (mental note: it's only my third score). As you lie on your back watching the ceiling, and counting your blessings, she climbed on top of you, ready for the next round.

The next round? But you just shot off everything you got. There's nothing left, only a limp purple Barney on the floor. And she's hungry for more. Claimed that you didn't hit her G-spot. Said she hasn't had orgasm yet.

But you're not in the mood anymore. Your Barney is not responding; it has packed it's balls and left for the night. You're practically ball-less for the night.

Obviously, she was disappointed. You wished you has last longer like that man you saw on TV the other night. You wished you had bought a yellow Barney instead of the purple one. You wished that women can reach orgasm as fast as men can.

Well, if your have £800, you can get your girl to do a G-shot, then maybe, sex won't be one-sided anymore.

Any takers?