Melancholy is the right mood to write

It's hard to write when you're happy. Or busy. You're out there enjoying life, really living the life that you want. You want to spend every single available moment being happy, with your loved ones, doing the things that you love.

And so the blog gets abandoned, remnants of the past when things were a lot bleaker and darker. Writing was the remedy for the heart, a solace where words provide temporary comfort, and soothe the beast raging inside. It was something like a coping mechanism, and for that, I am forever grateful and thankful for the comfort it provided.

But there comes a time when the past gets revisited, and those dark demons came surfacing again. Those long forgotten demons, never expunged, just pushed into a dark corner of the mind, forgotten. Bidding and waiting for the right time to jump out and take control of the mind again. And the mind, being lulled into happiness, grows weak and vulnerable. And so it begins.

Words are rushing out wanting to be written. I can feel the tip of my fingers tingling, anticipating the tapping on the keyboard. The calm before the storm.

Ingin sekali, aku ungkapi. Isyarat jiwa, dengan sempurna.

And so I ask myself again, what's wrong? Am I sad?

Or I simply miss writing that I choose to feel sad to be able to write?