Eternity

I will love you my whole life, you and no other.

Letting go

Revive

Have I ever told you I love you?

No.

I do.

Still?

Always.

Interlude (7)

Two weeks.

Two long weeks.

That is how long he will be away from her. That is how long he will miss her smell and touch. That is how long he will miss her warmth and kisses.

Which is unbearable, so to speak. He knows the nights well, for he has spent most of his time alone with his thoughts. He knows the lonely shadow who constantly hovers around the room, moving with the speed of the ceiling fan above him. It is the comfort of years being spent in his room, with his own mind and shadow.

Yes, he might be content with all that, but deep inside, he knows one undeniable truth.

He misses her.

More than he can imagine.

Interlude (6)

She was in my dreams last night.

I have not seen her for more than 10 years. In fact, I have not been in contact with her for that long too. The only face I still remember is from an old photograph, and I have no idea how she looks like nowadays.

Yet, I know it was her last night.

I only remember her thick and wavy hair in the dream. The rest was a big blur, and I have shady images of her face in my mind. But her presence was so strong that I woke up looking for her.

But all I found was myself alone in bed.

Interlude (5)

“I know you’ve been looking for love, that you’re hoping for love,” she said.
“I’m not looking for love,” he told her, while staring into her deep brown eyes.
“I’ve already found love.”

With that, he left her there, on the bed; letting his words sink into her guarded heart.

“He’s in love with me,” she suddenly realized.

Interlude (4)

Suddenly, everything moves in slow motion. It's like time suddenly decided to stand still, and delayed his departure. He could see everything moves in absolute slowness; the girl standing next to him talking on her phone, the man at the ticket counter punching buttons on his keyboard, and the stationary red bus, with the doors closed and the driver missing.

Everything might be in slow motion, but his heart wasn't. His heart was beating at an unusual rate, racing against time, rushing towards the finishing line.

He could almost see her face, waiting for him patiently, with a big smile on her face. He could almost feel her arms wrapped around his body, and her sweet breath on his face. And he could almost feel her happiness, radiated warmly like a wildfire, spreading and engulfing him in joy and ecstasy he could never describe.

Yet, the bus laid stationary, still.

Interlude (3)

"Can you find it in your heart to love me?" I asked her.

And she looked at me, long and hard. Probably seeking something, seeking some sort of confirmation. And probably thinking. Thinking about us. I can see it in her eyes. I can see my sad face reflected in her eyes.

And then and there, I knew. She might love me, even if it was just a bit, but her love was out of pity. Not what I seek, not what I wanted. She pitied me, for loving her with all my heart, for carrying her so high in my life. For putting her above everything else. And I yearned for that love to be returned. But what I want, is not what she wants.

Not in this lifetime anyway.

"It's okay. You don't have to answer me. I understand", I lied to her. In truth, I wanted her to love me so much that it hurts. And no, I didn't understand. I can never understand.

But hurt her I will not do. Even if it means shattering my heart into a million pieces.

And I shall carry the shards of my broken heart with me till the end of my life. Let it be a reminder, to the love that was never returned.

Interlude (2)

"I want that," he said.

"Well, take a number and wait in line," was the reply.

With a heavy sigh, he stood at the end of the line. It was a long line. He couldn't even see the front. The line snakes all the way to the horizon, where the sky is just a shade of red.

"Soon, I'll be with her again," he consoled himself.

It might take an eternity, but what is time to him. He has an eternity to waste.

But waste away, without her by his side, now that is something that he couldn't live with. Just thinking about it sent shivers down his spine, all the way down to his tailbone. He shrugged it off, and looked ahead.

And the line stayed static, and he stood there wasting away his eternity, without her by his side.

Interlude (1)

I see a shell of a man, who was destined for greatness.

I see a shell of a man, who was destined for happiness.

I see a shell of a man, who is empty. Devoid of all feelings, and emotions.

Where is that desire? Where is that will and passion that used to burn brightly and fiercely?

Extinguished. By false hopes. By false dawn.

When all that existed is the night.

And a long and lonely darkness.